Need some advisement Please, i really need help with this !!?

The content is good but the sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation need a lot of work. For example, last paragraph, first sentence should be at least 3 sentences. ...dreams. My inspiration...within. As I turn... To give all of your errors, I would almost have to rewrite the whole thing. My advice is to take it to someone in person to go over it. The other option is to take some more English coursework and improve your writing skills. If you do well, it could also bring up your GPA. I can tell from the content that you are very optimistic and eager.