Best friend advice needed badly help if possible?

we've been friends for years had ups downs fallouts coz i took her for granted the other was our biggest because i said something stupid i knew i was wrong we made up im gay and shes my best friend i love her dearly not in a way shes the closest thing i have to a girl soul mate recently shes been saying that i act differently around our friends and ive tried to fix it ive not seen them in 3 weeks since summer started ive only seen her we have 14 "our songs" i did a countdown the last 2 weeks coz i thought it would be special to her and got the most special birthday gift i could think of at �50 we were texting having a laugh like normal then i tell her the guy ive been seeing is now my boyfriend then she goes all quiet on my the next day i text her but was quiet again i ask whats wrong she says shes tired of the way i act around our other friends and is done with me i honestly cant live without her i want to know hw to have her in my life again and hw to fix what i did wrong help??